Week 5 in the life of a newly qualified staff nurse
So after 3 long years, a crazy amount of essay writing, and literally blood sweat and tears, I've qualified as a staff nurse! Yay I've done it! But wait... now the hard work begins. After what seemed like 5 very short weeks supernumerary I have spent my first day on my own as a community nurse. Having slept very poorly in the run up to this day, I start my day at 5am doing the routine mundane household task, lunches, washing etc. I am on the early shift so I nervously leave home at 6:30, ready to start at 7. I have 6 insulin patients to attend to between now and 9am. As I pull up outside my first patients house, having no idea how I got here, a feeling of dread overwhelmes me. I walk into the house, introducing myself to the patient and her family. I stare at the generic prescription, checking and double checking the dose prescribed. Finally I pluck up the courage to draw the insulin up and administer to my patient. Having completed my documentation I rush off, now behind time as I have spent so much time on one patient. I speed off to the other 5, leaving each one worrying I have completed everything correctly and administered appropriately. I constantly doubt my ability to do this. What seemed such an essential yet easy task as a student, is now causing such self doubt and complete lack of confidence.
I go about the rest of my day, scared, nervous and anxious about what the rest of the day will hold. I complete my further 11 patients, pausing at 4pm wondering if I have been to the loo today. I have not, and I politely ask one of my patients if I could use theirs. Each patient I attend I wonder whether my documentation is good enough, whether my assessments were holistic, whether my patients were happy with the service they reviewed. I doubt and reassess every decision I make.
For the next couple of months I hope to improve my confidence and become less anxious about the care I provide. Having completed my training well, I need to have confidence that I can do it, and I hope this becomes easier as I progress.
